"MARIO: "Look, I noa needa your Focker Friendship! I needa your Focker Help!!"The Italian Wedding(Note 1: the groom, Luigi, has a secret, of which his bride is unaware - when he was young, he lost half of his foot in an accident. However, the prosthetic he wears works so well that it is hard to tell there is anything wrong with his foot)(Note 2: the bride, Maria, being a good girl, has stayed pure and virtuous for her wedding, and so is innocent of many things)Mama, she is happy as her lovely daughter Maria has gotten married to a very nice man. She is a little sad that her very loving and beloved husband Giuseppe passed away 6 months ago, and so was not there to give away his daughter (not the only thing she misses about him). The wedding was beautiful and the reception was excellent.After the end of the reception, Maria comes running up to Mama "Mama! Mama! Luigi wants me to go to the bedroom with him."Mama pats her on the hand and says, "Relax Maria, that is normal for husband and. So I think I'll start posting stories of my past, my overly active, sometimes stupidly stupid past sexual experiences. They won't be regular posts, i.e. there won't be a schedule to them, and they probably won't be in any kind of order. I'll just post them as I'm inspired to recount them. All are true, some things have been changed to "protect the innocent". I'm in my early 40ies-ish so the vast majority of these events transpired over 20 years ago some are burned into my memory, others have some details that have been forgotten. Bit of background first. I've been...exposed, for lack of a better word, to sex since I was very young. Like most k**s growing up in the 80's, my dad had a bit of an extensive porn collection. I can remember being a little k** and seeing magazines lying in my parents bedroom partially, but not very well, hidden. I was probably 10 or 11 when I "discovered" masturbation. My parents weren't home and I was watching one of dad's "collection" tapes. These were.
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