Even when I am in Evan mode, I catch myself using my well-practicedhigher octave feminine voice and my hand and arm movements are equallyfeminine.My European co-workers must believe I am gay. I believe I amtransgendered. My dressing went past crossdressing a long time ago.Following taking some deep breathes, which is hindered by my waistcincher, I ask my wife if I should bother coming home. I have visionsof her posting my pictures all over the internet. Peggy tells me, "Yes,come home. I am surprisingly not that angry, more hurt that you did notshare Emma with me. It is clear she is a big part of you. You have puta lot of time and effort, if not study into being Emma. I could besitting in a waiting room with you, dressed as Emma, and I do not thinkI would recognize you as anyone else, other than an attractive, prettywoman. I might actually be jealous."I apologize for not being open, over and over. She tells me not to beatmyself up. She has questions and we can talk about them when I. ’ ‘Got it. How much did you sleep last night?’ ‘Oh…nine hours, probably?’ ‘Oh, good. Very good. Okay, how’s your libido-slash-sex drive?’ ‘Ummm…’ ‘It’s perfectly okay to say you don’t want to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable, Sean.’ ‘…Well, it’s not really that, so much as…I guess I…don’t really know anymore. I haven’t been with anybody since my wife. I…have to presume everything’s still, uh…in working order…I just haven’t really been able to summon the will to find out.’ ‘I see. Okay, well, that’s something else we can go more into at another time.’ The folder, pen and glasses were returned to the desk, as status quo by this juncture. ‘All right, now, Sean, that’s all the questions I have at this time, so if you’re potentially interested in the hypnosis procedure, I’ll explain it to you… ‘Unless you have any questions for me before we go on?’ she checked. ‘I’ll probably think of them later,’ he answered. ‘You know, it’s one of those things where I’ll probably.
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