Are you angry with me? I need to know… am I forgiven? Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember dying… I don’t want to remember this pain. Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember the broken promises… that stain like cloying lies. Have you nothing to say? * * * ‘Do you dream about me? Tell me your truth. Do you dream I am with you?’ Where else would I go? How could I not dream about you? Did you think I’d found someone else? Sometimes I really believe you are here. That I’ll wake in the morning and everything will be just as it was. But there is no going back… nowhere we can return to… and even if we could, it was all just a masquerade… a sick joke played at our expense… Did you consider that? All our time together was an illusion… there was no future… not for me… not for us. And I can’t face you. I never had your strength, or your courage. You were ever the binding that held me, without you I’ve fallen apart. Dreaming is not enough… not when I wake in the dark burning for your touch… not. He hired her as a nanny for my siblings. It wasn’t long before he had fallen in love with her and they got married. I was born within the year. They didn’t have any other children. I always got along with my brother and sister. I didn’t think of them as step-siblings. As Bob Jr. would always say, ‘I was just a brother from a different mother.’ Growing up I never did without, but my parents wanted me to know the value of a dollar. They didn’t just throw money at me. I went to the city schools, received a good education, and eventually went to college. A little about Bob and Edie. They both went to college and upon graduating Dad opened up a new land development and brokerage office for each of them. One was in Kentucky and the other was in Indiana. They each eventually got married and had children of their own. They’re grandparents now. Mom and Dad both taught family values to all of us. I guess I didn’t listen too well to that part of my upbringing. When I asked Dad what he thought I.
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