Once we had returned home, I discovered to my great surprise, that while in my catatonic state, I had nearly completed the designs for the ship that would be my crowning achievement. It was amazing. It was completely unconventional in terms of every other ship in the human space-going fleet. Instead of being long and basically cylindrical, she was round along the horizontal plane. She resembled the classic flying saucer that had been rampant at the dawn of humankind's space age. She measured over a thousand yards across, and about a hundred yards thick at the outer edge, tapering from the 250 yards at her center. She had a revolutionary drive arrangement. Each of the main drives, 16 in all, was each contained in their own module. These modules could be moved independently from each around the outer edge of the ship. The computer simulations showed her to be impossibly maneuverable. She could outmaneuver everything from a heavy cruiser, which was slightly less than a. As we drove to his house, the struggle between guilt and excitement continued. This wasn't the first time I'd thought about it after finding out about his affair, but I had always talked myself out of it before it got this far. As I debated on it, my thoughts kept going back to the advice a dear friend had given me on the subject when I reached the end of my rope a couple weeks earlier: "You can't take it back once it's done, so be sure it's what you really want before you do it," he said. "But if you're going to do it, hold nothing back. You won't feel any less guilty if the sex really wasn't all that great, so give yourself to your lover completely while you're there, even if it's just for an hour. If you're going to do it, don't be afraid to enjoy it. Better to explore every pleasure the two of you can offer each other; then if you feel guilty about it, you'll at least have the memory of the wonderful time you had together."When we reached his house, he pulled into the driveway.
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