I stare out the window, wondering if I’m safer here, or with D. Webster.No, Danny. I need to get used to calling him by his first name until I can figure a way out of this mess. I try not to play with the oleander charm. It’s not in my best interest to develop a tell.A nurse brings a dress for me after lunch. I haven’t worn a dress in years. Pants or shorts are much more convenient. It’s made of finely woven hemp dyed a pale pink and scattered with flowers. It’s a garment someone might wear to a wedding, if there were such things anymore. “Where did this come from?” I ask.“Your partner brought it.” She gives me a cheerful smile. “It’s very pretty. Did you buy it for a special occasion?”“No,” I reply. “I’ve had it for awhile.”She nods and walks to the door. “Your partner will be here in about half an hour. I’m sure you want to look your best, so I’ll let you get cleaned up and changed.”I shower and finger comb my hair, then let out a short gallows laugh when I realize how much I. I'm about to lose her, though it couldn't be in a better way."And, you know I have sex with others – casual sex, fun sex, tender sex even – with Simone, and with Michelle, and Ingrid, and even sometimes with women I meet in a port somewhere."But if I had to forsake all others and chose one..." I couldn't go on. It wasn't fair to tell Moira what was in my heart, because I would never act on it."But you don't need to make that choice, so you won't," finished Moira.I swallowed hard. I was afraid I might lose Moira like I was losing Joanne. And losing Moira would be harder. Much harder. Too hard.We lay in silence for a minute. I didn't know what to say or what to do."What are you thinking about?" I asked, tentatively."Hmmmph," she snorted softly. "I'm your God-damned employee, Gary. I'm not allowed to be 'thinking about'". I winced. "Anyway," she added after a few seconds of tense silence, "you're the one who brought it up. All I asked for was love." I know," I told her, kissing her.
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