8- You’re just upset because your a****is beginning to spread.7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5- Sorry, I was just picturing you nekked.4- Whoa, time out. Football is on.3- Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!2- Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?1- Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain’t loaded.Food For Thought“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”This one is compliments of UgeeayIf you are from the deep south (USA) you can relate!Three women were sitting in a beauty parlor. The first women turned to the others and said “I’m so excited! This is my fifth wedding anniversary. My husband gave me a dozen roses this morning, a beautiful diamond bracelet and he is taking me to an elegant restaurant tonight”The second women said “how wonderful.”The third smiled and said “how nice for you!”The second woman said “on my fifth anniversary. The three immediately crouched down and aimed at the figure across the way. It was a younger woman. I would guess mid-twenties to early thirties though tough to tell in the distance. The leader spoke again and hollered out, "Come on up."I could tell she was a bit scared but she came up to about twenty feet away from the men and the SUV. Again, the leader said, "Come on over. We won't hurt you."The one named, Jake, chuckled from my side of the SUV and mumbled, "Much."She shook her head. She said, "Who are you? Are there any women with you?" I noticed that their clothing didn't fit quite right. There was something about all this that concerned me. I brought my rifle to bear on "Jake."The leader said, "We are three brothers. We survived the sickness and left Charlotte looking for more people who survived. We want to join up with some others." I saw Jake smile at that. I wondered why they left Charlotte, a much bigger place, for here if they were looking for company. There was something.
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