Hence the no shirt in the hot sun routine to get a decent tan. I got my cam belt on and did battle with the belt cover fixing bolts. Bare arms smeared with oil. Sweating profusely I battled on until I had used all the bolts up. I finished up. The engine ran. I had my freedom back. It goes then? my father enquired. Seems like it, I agreed. Ill get cleaned up. I took a shower and wandered up to the manor, caterers were scuttling around, a boy band was doing a sound check and a group of very fit black guys were chatting around the back of the marquee. How do, I said in my best village idiot voice, Whats going off then lads? Thought it was a five thirty, turns out its a nine thirty, one of them said. Dancers, Strippers? I asked. Yeah something like that, do you want to do one before you really annoy us? he suggested. Have a nice day, I said, Just the one then die I muttered. Hansen, Lord H called when he saw me, Bugger off theres a good chap, invitation only, dont want riff raff gate. Alice had been at a party with some of the Rugby Club who were celebrating a hitherto unheard of event, that of drinking the Climbing Club under the table. They were on their way back to their Hall of Residence. Their choruses and erratic movement attracted the attention of Constable Barry Hughes who radioed in for a Paddy Wagon to take the revellers down to the 'nick'. The lads were corralled and invited to enjoy some alternative accommodation for the rest of the night. The ‘Lads’ had just vanquished the Climbers at drinking and, in their own eyes, they were ‘invincible’. This prompted a very unhelpful response from them concerning their recommendations for the officer's immediate travel plans, and suggestions that the constabulary might ‘go forth and multiply’. “Do you like sex and travel? Then fuck off,” cried Dave Jones, the six foot four giant from the ‘Valleys’, who wore the number 8 shirt when they were on the field. The police had heard it all before and took it in good heart.
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