As if it wasn't bad enough that most everyone had been convinced he was dead, having fallen through the veil. Sirius was eaten alive by guilt, even though he understood that this had to be. They needed as many advantages as they could for the final battle.He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, wishing he had a drink or a cigarette or anything to occupy himself. The rituals of pouring and drinking or lighting and smoking might help to calm him down. As it was, he was fighting the urge to get to St. Mungo's right now and damn the consequences.A tapping began on the door, and Sirius moved soundlessly to the door. He'd drilled a few peep holes in it ages ago, and he used one now, jumping back reflexively as a pointy beak nearly took his eye out.A grumbling Sirius cracked the door open and allowed the bird in. "All right, Fawkes. You flying special delivery today?" The bird was not looking his best, so Sirius took the note and waved Fawkes off."He needs you. Please come. Your old. He knew he couldn’t return to Aventon, the village would be awash with the story. He hardly slept when he was in bed, he couldn’t get her out of his head. Tears rolled down his cheeks.Tim had undertaken the final jobs without him asking; when he boarded the C17 the three pilots ringed him. They did their best to protect him from the stares of the other men. On the flight he just looked out the cabin window, he knew she hadn’t just broken his heart. She’d shattered it.When the C17 landed Bill and Tom were amongst the first to disembark, he and Tim amongst the last. They were walking across the tarmac when Bill came hurrying back and spoke to Tim. “Robbie there are reporters waiting outside the entrance, if you don’t want to see them we can get you out the side door. Tom’s found the car you ordered and is holding it by the door. If that’s what you want to do.”He nodded, “Thanks.”On the way to Gatwick he found the letter he had written prior to the mission in case he didn’t come back..
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