So three evenings later, an amusingly nervous Donna and I went to bed in the spare bed in the lower level of Mark's Wing.In some respects it was an ironic experience. My heart wasn't really in it, which diminished my enjoyment a lot; but Donna's putting her heart into it was what I most wanted her not to do. I wanted Donna to treat sex like the goofing around that we used to do, so just for fun, to enjoy spending time together, give each other a bit of attention, and especially in ways that don't intrude on the rest of our lives. [I wrote that "we used to" goof around because I'd done virtually none of it with Donna since I'd turned up as Ron. I couldn't risk playing sports outside with her when the baddies might be watching how I moved, and my deliberately being clumsy would've annoyed Donna. Now she was busting a gut (or a hymen) to try an indoor sport.]Our treating sex as a new goofing off activity was what I wanted Donna to think, but I couldn't think that way myself. I was too. “You mother fucking bastard! How come it took you so long to fuck me? Wasn’t I good enough for you? God damn it! You didn’t have to force me! You could have been a little gentler with me.” I was shocked by what I was hearing from my mother-in-law, a woman I had considered a dried up old prune. “I didn’t want my wife to find out that I was trying to make up my mind to fuck you, you slut. And damn it, I did have to fuck you to put you in your fucking place!”“Mani? It was her fucking idea to have me tease you. You’ve been sticking that dick of yours into her so much lately that she needs a break. Sonny, if you had been half the fucking man I thought you were when you married my daughter, you would have taken me to bed at least a year ago! Damn it. I’ve been teasing you for that long at least. What did I have to do, walk around naked in front of you? Yeah, I did, didn’t I? But those were only my tits and you went berserk. You fucking asshole–where to you think you get off taking.
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