Will the Lord ever forgive me for this habitual transgression – this lust of the flesh? I feel as though I can’t shake it. Every time I think I want to let it go, I give in and give up and let the pain, not the dominant, act as my master. Will this internal struggle ever end for me? It calls out to me in the middle of the night when I am lonely. I can’t believe I actually thanked God for bringing Cassius into my life because he enjoyed giving pain as much as I enjoyed receiving it. It’s a crying shame to say I can not see a day when I will let go of this thrill and rush I get with every infliction of pain to my body. Help me, Lord! The clock on the night stand next to Cassius displayed in large red numbers the time of two in the morning, so she persuaded herself to get some sleep. She silently hoped that perhaps she and Cassius would just enjoy the rest of their visit sex-free. Much to her mixed feeling of chagrin and pleasure, she was awakened by her friend’s strong dark-skinned. Patrick took it saying, "That's me." Great, I'm Oscar, the jump instructor, why don't you head over to the lockers and someone will be with you to help you get ready" he said with a smile.Patrick headed over to the lockers and sat down on a bench and waited for someone to come over to him. He was joined by Rogigilo who came in from the hanger and sat down beside him. "My uncle will be over in a few minutes to get us ready. It's pretty straight forward, we will get dressed in a jump suit, watch a video on jumping, and finally the pre-jump instructions that really just go over the video. Are you sure you want to do this?" Yea!" Shit! I was afraid of that."Seeing the look on his face Patrick asked, "You really don't want to do this don't you?" Nope." Listen Rogigilo, I can't ask you to do this, so let's just forget it and get out of here."Shaking his head no, "Absolutely not. If you can face what you have, than I can face this." Really, it's okay. I've got no choice in what I face, you.
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