I have never had my mouth go so dry, so quickly. I wanted to drag him to my bed, I wanted to tear into him with my hands, mouth, teeth. I was scared by the things that I felt in those seconds, but I let him in anyway. He said that he was bored, could we watch TV together, and I said why not? I was not a woman who let strange men into her apartment, and flirted with them. I had a boyfriend for God’s sake! But I realized right then that I hadn’t thought about Mike since the grocery store. I realized that I was not fretting about where he was and what he was doing. I was thinking about me and why I was having vivid sexual thoughts about a near-stranger. So I let him in, and after a few awkward minutes the TV went completely unnoticed. We talked. And we talked. He is intelligent, funny, insightful. After a few minutes he was drawing out of me secrets and dreams and thoughts that until then were completely my own. It was a heady feeling. We talked of deep things, spirituality, the world,. .. that our first boy or girl would be named after her.”I pulled Diana down onto my lap and held her tight.“We’re having a baby. I’m going to be a father.”Tears of abject joy flowed from my eyes.“And I’m going to be a mother. That’s how it usually works.”“But Diana ... I’m going to be a daddy!”She kissed my tears away and pulled my head to her breasts and stroked my bald head.“You are not going to be a daddy. You are going to be a great daddy. And you need a shave.”We sat there for the longest time, before Jos walked by and saw us.“Hey! No fraternizing with the employees!”“Jos, we’re having a baby.”I’ve never heard a real live sonic boom, but I think it might sound like Jos after hearing the news.Lissa and Gayle and Tasha came running in and Jos was still screaming.“A BABY! A BABY! THEY’RE HAVING A BABY!”“Damn, girl. Who is having a baby?” Tasha asked.“Tasha, Diana and I are having a little girl. Diana is going to name her Sasha Diana,” I was so proud.“I never said it was a girl and I.
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