Afterwards he wanted to talk about sex and feelings. To be honest I wanted to talk about it as well. We laid there touching and caressing each other as we talked. Tom asked me if I had any sexual fantasies, and I told him the same ones that I told you. Then I told him of another that I never told you.Remember the night that Jane next door was raped and gangbanged in the downstairs laundry room? I never told you this, but I had been a virgin for so long, God forgive me, I wished it had been me that those boys took in the laundry room that day. I know that sounds sick, but remember they really didn't hurt Jane. In fact she told us how she would have screwed them all if they had been nicer. She made it sound as if they just wanted to fuck her and they gave her no choice. Yes it was rape, but from were I sat it would have relieved me of any responsibility for having sex. I would have it and since I would have been forced, I would not be held responsible for enjoying it.Remember I told. " How does it feel to be officially neutered?" Kate asked. "I can tell youone thing: your clients will love that. They'll no longer see you as aman who has been feminised. They'll think you are a girl who justhappened to be born with a tiny prick instead of a vagina." To be honest, I don't feel anything except a dull throb," I said. "Ifeel good that they are gone, though. They just got in the way."I spent the entire weekend in bed although I was able to get up and dosome things. I noted that Paul's entire attitude had changed since Traciehad given him the hormone shots. He seemed much happier and took over allthe household duties. He seemed very respectful of Luke who spent theweekend with mommy and seemed almost in awe of him. On Saturdayafternoon, when I went into the kitchen, he did confide in me."I listened at the guest bedroom door last night while Luke and my wifewere going at it," Paul said. "He can really roger her. She was begginghim to fuck her harder. She was never like.
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