I shifted my awareness towards the source of that pull, and stepped, without moving away from my existence.How do I describe what just happened? As a boy, just becoming a young man, its perhaps understandable that my mind can only think of something from my boyish past to use in making an analogy. In the movie Willie Wonka, one scene involves a ride in the Wonkamobile, at the end of which they get clean in the "hsawaknow", which as Willy Wonka explains, is Wonkawash spelled backwards. Only I went through something forwards, backwards, sideways and inside out all at the same time. There was a single moment in time when I felt, flat as a shadow, or smaller than an atom, or ... something. Even today I cannot find words to describe it. The apprehension I felt inside my bubble of calm reminds me of something I read by D.H. Lawrence."Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, canceled, made nothing? Are you willing to be made nothing? Dipped into oblivion?"When my consciousness was once. Shortly after Mick said he was going to watch some of the motorcycle racing on the large TV in the hotel main bar. Before coming away I had bought a new camera on the advice of a friend which supposedly had a very good zoom lens, could take video and play back through a television. I left to get it from the room so I could practice using it, photographing the various boats out on the water.The hotel complex is a U shaped building and from our room we could see into the rooms opposite. As I grabbed the camera I looked out of the window to see a couple wearing swimming costumes in the opposite room and they were kissing. Sensing there might be something interesting here I slowly opened the balcony door, turned on the camera in video mode and placed it on the plastic table to photograph the couple. I then grabbed my tablet and returned to join Jean. When I got back she asked where the camera was and I said that I needed to catch up on some emails first. About an hour later Maggie.
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