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The pre-teens would invariably pull my beard and react in shock when it did not come off. The teenage girls would come in groups of three to six and squirm all over my lap and ask for all kinds of things. A few of them were things that would cause them to scream (if I really did produce what they asked for) and me to go to jail. Some were just innocent kids having fun. In any case, by 11:00, a security guard was nearby to keep the rowdier ones away. At noon, as I was resting and eating a Big Mac and fries, there was a sharp knock on the workshop divider and one of the helpers said, ‘Come in.’ Mrs. Shattuck bustled around the partition and came right up to me. ‘Lars, may I have a moment?’ She motioned toward the back of the rest area. I got up and followed her. ‘Now, the mall closes at 7:00 tonight. You can get some rest and get cleaned up. You may want to change into your clean costume. I’ll make sure it is available over at the Shady Lady. At 8:00, you will find your sleigh in. Did you ever do that with Betty?" With the first one. With the second, I had to do it sometimes because she would have been suspicious had I not."I took her hand and we rounded the corner and walked toward her place - our place. I heard a car door close but didn't pay it much attention.And then, from a taunting voice moving towards the sidewalk from the street, "Isn't this the picture of domesticity? You're such a pathetic loser cuckold. You go out and cheat on me and your girlfriend gets knocked up by some other guy."I had a quizzical look on my face.She continued, "Oh, you didn't know? Go on, tramp, tell him."I thought to squeeze Karen's hand to keep her from getting involved in the conversation, but I realized she probably knew as well as I how to handle herself."And how would you know that, Betty?" Because your sperm count is too low to make anybody pregnant."This time my look was surprised."And how would you know that?" I had it done at a clinic." What did you do, jerk yourself.
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