I cried until I couldn’t anymore, until there were no more tears.They held me and whispered platitudes which I didn’t even hear. They tried, briefly, getting me to talk, but it just brought on a new round of tears every time. Finally back in our tent, I watched Aedan sleep all night, my eyes closing only for seconds the whole time. The next day Alistair acted like it had never happened. We left the Dalish, heading towards Denerim. Leliana and I sang, and he barely even acknowledged me. It was worse than if he’d yelled or screamed or…anything. I sucked it up, knowing I’d brought it on myself, that I deserved it. I let him get too close, I was too weak to stop it, and then I couldn’t even tell the lie that would keep him away. And still I wanted him, painfully so. Twice while we walked I teared up and had to run off into the bush, pretending to need to pee, so I could cry it out. I’m sure I looked like hell, my eyes were probably red and puffy, my nose swollen from blowing it. I. It was dawn and we sent them home with more than vegetables and with a request that they bring their families and others that were in similar situations that evening at six pm. I sent Maria and several family helpers to the larger town with money to buy a lot of food that could be easily prepared. My wife and all available help prepared makeshift serving tables. I called Maria to buy paper plates and plastic forks.It all came together! The kids led a cadre of two dozen townspeople of widely varying ages. There were eight of us to greet them. The visitors looked around at the great relative wealth on our grounds. Eduardo took charge and asked them to stand or sit in a particular place. I addressed them through my interpreter.“Welcome to my home. I understand that you are hungry. I am not a Christian but I believe in many of the same principles. We have prepared a dinner for you. What you do not eat here we will send with you. But I cannot feed you every day. What is more important is.
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