Outwardly ignoring the fleeting grasps at her skirts. But privately, growing more and more aware of her body’s reaction to the excitement, as it instinctively moves back or presses forward against open hands and errant fingers. She continues to make her way closer to the platform. A reed caught in the swell of fast rising water, she pushes herself onward. Wanting, needing to be closer. To see the anguish in these men’s eyes, to watch as their look shifts to a brief, yet brilliant flash of hope as the moment looms ever closer, to witness the final, dry, distant look as all faith is crushed. Replaced by an overwhelming realization of doom. Finally slipping softly between two large men, smiling up at one as she achieves her destination at the edge of the podium. Her timing is perfect. All eyes turn and voices erupt as the fourth and final candidate rises up behind the stage… his body lurching and tossing about as the crude pulleys propel him forward. ‘or will our gracious lord have. Beth was fast asleep in her cot, and he had just finished reading Evan his nightly story. The boy always took a long time to go to sleep, though he had given up asking when Mummy was going to come and tuck him in. Each time it had wrung David’s heart afresh. Each time he told the little one that Mummy was looking down on him and loving him, and had given the little lad a kiss ‘from Mummy’ before going to the bathroom so the child would not hear him weeping.After ten weeks doing everything alone, he was exhausted. It was not simply being at his children’s beck and call, taking care of little Beth’s needs and finding time to play with Evan while getting the washing and ironing done, the terry nappies cleaned, washed and dried, the shopping with both children in tow, and house cleaning while Evan took his nap in the afternoon. There was no let up in that. But there was the yawning gap at his centre where Gwen had been, and the recurring mourning that always took him by.
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