“Good speech,” Rick said as he came up to me. “You sure you’ve never done this before?”“Done what?”“Been a guide.”“I’m not a guide. But I have been one of those scared, whiney kids. At least for the first six minutes, then I started trying to figure out how to keep the rest of the cabin from distracting the staff.”“John, you have all the instincts of a guide and the skills. I watched you do that fire the other day. Textbook and even Andre was impressed. I’ve read the reports from your other trips up here. You can set and strike a camp, get the important stuff done, and with wet feet. I know about your canoe work. You have what it takes to be a guide.”“Thanks.”“Don’t mention it. Need a hand resetting the course?”“Yes, that would be wonderful, thanks. Here’s what I have in mind.”I pulled out my second map and showed him the plan along with the additional markers. We walked the course, checked my measurements and bearings, then verified that my handrails were in place. The biggest one. Sleeping had been one of Jaime's difficulties, and she'd taken to having a glass of wine before retiring. When the wine was insufficient, she turned to the marvels of medical science. She'd left the bottle of sleeping pills in their typical place in the medicine chest. I took them down, shook the bottle. A pair of lone remaining tablets rattled fitfully about the small plastic container. I sighed. Certainly not enough for what I intended. I examined the label, then nodded to myself. The refill was still good.Pocketing the nearly empty bottle of sleeping pills, I made my way out of the house, not bothering to change out of my work clothes as I went. I locked the door behind me in habit, climbed into my company van, and headed in the direction of the mall.I made the drive as though in a dream. Sights that I should have seen I ignored, but the smallest things caught my eye. A couple riding a tandem bicycle, laughing happily. Children swinging in the park. Children.Jaime had never wanted.
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