And again the feeling of extreme wellbeing permeated the air around us. We had all been tested and had come through fine and what's more to the point, alive. It was almost funny, the feelings that went through me on that ride home. Billy and I would make eye contact every once and a while and the memory of our last firefight and what we'd done afterwards kept popping up in my mind. It was strange to feel so sexy, thinking about Billy and what we'd done. After all, we'd just seen men killed and had just come through a shocking and terrible experience. But the feelings deep down inside me were definitely there. I wanted Billy again and 4-months of nothing but masturbation intensified that feeling. But what I didn't know then -- was that he'd let slip what we'd done and the other guys -- who were all looking at me, wondering what I was thinking, wondering if they had a chance with me. I was clueless when I invited Billy back to my tent from the mess hall. It was like an exact repeat of. .."Sonja's cheeks blushed quite darkly, "Ah, yes," she bit her lip a little. "It's just that some of us who have been here for a while, the clients become less interested, especially if you've had a lot of things done to you... it's like, a few battle-scars are fine, but too much and you're a veteran, you know?" But can't you just take the retirement package? That's a lot of money and you get care and all that..." Well, yes, of course you can. It's just that..." Sonja sighed a little, "I don't know, it's a bit hard to explain, but it's just that when you give so much of yourself," she winced a little, "literally, even, it can become quite hard to leave this place. And make no mistake, I just mean like emotionally, it's not that anyone stops you or discourages you," the blonde giggled nervously. "But a lot of girls do want to keep working even if they get hurt or even disfigured and they still get clients, just much less than before."Maybe they just want to keep going, or well, some of.
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