Er, us kids had liked the First Mrs. Arnold, as you might guess. But amongst the adults locally — who only discussed such things when they thought that children weren’t listening, couldn’t hear them or wouldn’t understand anyway — the consensus of opinion appeared to be, that the first Mrs. Arnold had discovered that said George Arnold had been making whoopee with his secretary. The inference being that certain locals at least, had been well aware of, or at least suspected, that the illicit liaison had been going on for sometime. Those same rumours purported that at approximately the same time as the first Mrs. Arnold heard rumours of the affair, said secretary’s husband also discovered that an illicit liaison had been taking place. Thinking about it now, one most probably led to the other, if you get my drift. It was further rumoured that a certain trip aboard — that one George Arnold had taken around that same time — had in fact been a short stay in hospital while he recovered from. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.Time stood still.The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3.
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