"She quietened down as we talked. She brightened up when I asked her whatshe wanted to do and see while we were there, I ran through some of thethings we could do.I received numerous calls from Alex wanting to get together again howeverthat I wasn't sure about it so stalled. As much as I had enjoyed it I stillfelt uncomfortable about the whole thing. I still felt like it was wrong. Ihid behind work and training as the reason for not being able to.She did corner me for another date the week before I was due to fly out.When she asked if I wanted to go out I replied quickly. "Why don't you comearound and I will cook dinner for the two of us." There was a very pregnantpause and I could almost hear the cogs turning. "What about making it forthree?" She muttered.I guess I was expecting that. "Well to be honest I would prefer just thetwo of us this time." Darling Ben would love to come as well and he hasn't seen your place yet." I like the idea of it being just the two of us Alex. It would. When our erotic energy is out of sync, we will work to meet these needs even if doing so includes questionable choices with the potential for negative consequences.You may still ask — why did she choose my man?2. Your man showed his willingness to step out of his relationship.Men have many of the same needs as women for attention, appreciation, and passion. In addition to these needs, he wants to feel like a man — capable, sexy, wanted, and valued.If the other woman shows him that he's indeed capable, sexy, wanted, and valued, then the chance of crossing relationship boundaries increases. The combination of unmet needs with available opportunities can lead to an affair. Your man is the number one reason why the other woman slept with him.He consented.The other women is actually not the issue because if it wasn't her, it likely would have been someone else. Stop blaming and demonizing her, and look at what you and your partner can do to repair the relationship.3. Choosing a married.
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