The most talking was when she got together with my now Ex and they took turns telling me what a horrible person I am. I’ve never denied that if there is a worse human being drawing breath than me I’ve yet to meet him. I am a bad person but I don’t want to change. I love who I am and what I am and I’ve found that there are plenty of people who seem to appreciate that I am efficient, easy to work with and brutally honest. I think the only thing that I was pissed about what that threesome I had been promised by my then fresh ex and best friend forever deteriorated into the difference between what people say and what people mean. At least drinks at Gameworks was a blast and watching her flirt with the waiter. She left on Monday morning without so much as a call though supposedly it was my fault. Of course, why wouldn’t it be. Everything else that has ever gone wrong is my fault in one way or another. I’ve got someone working on why it was my fault that the dinosaurs went extinct but. At half-past eleven and again just before three I had to retreat to the gents to relieve gigantic erections in the only possible way, and Wendy rang no fewer than four times to enjoin me not to be late home, but between these interruptions I worked diligently on the report. As I lunched in the company’s dining area, I was pleasantly surprised that Connie, instead of chatting with giggly secretaries as usual, came and sat with me, again expressing her sympathy and offering to help. But the real shocker came at the end of Connie’s working day (known as ‘latish afternoon’ to the rest of us). There was no indication when she stuck her head round my office door that anything unusual was going to happen. ‘Sorry to trouble you, Mr Walker,’ she said, ‘but can I check a couple of things before I go home?’ I replied that of course she could, whereupon she sat on my desk again and asked a couple of reasonably sensible questions about what I wanted her to do. Then she asked what to do if there.
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