He grabbed a cup, splashed coffee into it, clattered the blue enamel percolator back onto Vi’s kitchen range, and yanked his chair from under the table.He sat with both hands surrounding the cup. It was shaking. His face was flush with anger; his mouth set in a tight line. After a moment he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a legal-size envelope. He extracted a cover letter attached to several sheets of onion-skin property description sheets.Vi stood silently in the doorway between the dining room and kitchen, waiting for Jim to speak. After a moment, he did.“They’re taking our road.”“What? How? How can they do that ... who is they? Vi asked.“That Colorado land outfit.”“But, how?” she asked again.“It’s all in here in this letter. They claim to have a recreational development lease on the National Forest land surrounding us, including the strip that our ranch road crosses. They also claim that our road easement was improperly filed and the easement contains an error in the. The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called ‘impeckable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat.Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you’re away from home.This one is compliments of Rick M.Things that you should never say to a woman during an argument:10- Don’t you have some laundry to do or something?9- Aww, you are so cute when you get all ticked off.8- You’re just upset because your a****is beginning to spread.7- Wait a minute -- I get it. What time of the month is it?6- You’re sure you don’t want to consult the great Oprah on this one?5-.
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