I love you." Bye." I hung up."So you have a girlfriend now?" Mom sounded accusatory."It's just this girl I met at Taylor's party. She tells every boy she's his girlfriend." I didn't think that was too far from the truth. All five of those girls had dated many different guys."That's strange humor," Mom said"She's strange," I agreed just for Mom to hear."What's her name?"I thought about lying but that would be too easy to check up on. "Lucy."I finished watching Napoleon Dynamite but I wasn't enraptured with it like I usually was. My mind was on Lucy and our conversation. I emailed Lucy after the movie was over. She replied instantly and also gave me her IM name.Later that day, Dad watched sports while Mom was on the computer. I took the phone and snuck into my room. Hopefully, my parents would stay preoccupied long enough for me to return the phone unnoticed. Mom acted weird enough when she heard about Lucy. I didn't need to give her any more ammo."Talk to me," the female voice said on. "But what would be the point? I don't think you're the kind of man that likes to make pointless conversation. I've met men like you many times before. A cup of coffee, or a drink always leads somewhere else. And you're used to getting what you want. But you're not going to get it tonight." Even if that was true, would it be so terrible? You've obviously an interesting woman besides your appearance, and I could tell you stories from a misspent lifetime that would probably amuse you. I honestly may never, likely will never, come this way again so we probably won't meet again. Haven't you ever heard that old saying, 'what happens in Jacksonville, stays in Jacksonville'."I stared at her breasts and smiled. A lot of women have told me over the years that the smile is my best feature."And can you honestly say, with no one around, that you won't be even a LITTLE curious after I'm gone about what it might have been like?" If you don't stop hitting on my wife, McCarthy, I am going to kick your.
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