That day at work a couple of the girls asked if I'd fallen, all I could think to tell them was, I'd slipped out by the pool and hoped I hadn't blushed after I'd said it. When I thought about it later it wasn't that far from the truth, I had slipped out by the pool. When I got home that evening Bill was lying on the lounger by the pool, waiting for me to come home. I was getting out of my car when he waved calling out to me. "Come on over Lisa, relax, have a drink." I don't think that would be a very good idea Bill, not after what happened last night." Oh, why is that, didn't you enjoy what we did last night, sure seemed to me you were enjoying it." I, I, didn't say I didn't enjoy it, what I meant was, I didn't think it would be a good idea to have a repeat of last night, I was so sore this morning I could hardly walk."He laughed saying, "you know what they say about riding a horse, you won't hurt near as bad, if you get back on and ride it some more." Ya, well, that's almost what it. Love is another synonym for masochism and the only difference between the two is in the spelling. Nothing can make you seek out more pain, or endure more shit. The less bitter half of me says that nothing else is really worth it, either. Worth it or not, it does not hurt any less. Love, in the small amounts I allowed myself, was pain. The antithesis of your classical drugs, love in anything but a killing dose is a somewhat ridiculous exercise in futility. With love, the more you inject, the easier it is to keep on living. I sat on the low concrete step of my front porch, my beer between my feet, still wearing my work uniform, a pair of khaki pants and a black polo with ‘Ranch Bowl Entertainment Center’ embroidered tastefully over the left breast. Why anyone who works in a bowling alley should dress like a yuppie is beyond me. Maybe it’s a subtle joke. I do not know. Lifting the beer bottle from between my feet, I took a swig and did my best to concentrate entirely on the taste of the.
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