.. kill her ... Even though I was rescued, I was so, so angry. No longer could I convince myself I was a good person. I couldn’t live in denial anymore. I’d been tested, and I’d failed.“And you’d think I’d have been angry at my father, who put me in the situation, but I was far angrier at myself, at Kallian ... even at Aedan, for not rescuing me a day sooner. If he’d been just one day sooner, I wouldn’t have been tested. I could have slept at night, still believing I was a good man, that if it ever came down to it, I wouldn’t hurt someone who’d done nothing wrong. I was furious! I wanted someone to blame me, to see the monster inside me and call me out for it. I’d have gone willingly to Fort Drakon. But Aedan made excuses for me, you welcomed me ... even Kallian. She thanked me! Thanked me for almost killing her. And all of it just made me more outraged. I picked a fight with one of the soldiers in the barracks, destroyed a sparring dummy, but it wasn’t enough. None of it touched my. Jeff and Caroline got in the back and Mike joined me up front. As we drove to the drive in we talked about what the boys were doing with their summer vacation and what they thought they would be doing when they headed off to college in the fall. About a half-mile from the drive in Mike said:"Mom, can I ask you to do me a favor?" Of course sweetie. What do you want?" Could we stop so I can trade places with Jeff? I don't mean to be insulting to you, but it would sure make me seem like a lame-o to be seen sitting in a car at the drive in with my mother."I laughed and pulled over to the side of the road. "I am insulted. Usually I have to fight men off with a stick and here you are trying to put distance between us." Come on mom, I didn't mean it that way." I know sweetie. Believe it or not I was young once and I know what you mean."We got to the drive in, parked and then headed for the refreshment stand where we stocked up on popcorn, Cokes and some candy. We settled in to watch the.
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