You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.13. You sing along with elevator music.14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.A Seniors DilemmaI went to the liquor store Tuesday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Rum before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin, and truth be told, he, who is a waiter, is a virgin too, but she. Her stomach wasn't merely flat; it was concave, and her hips were as girlishly slim as her legs were long and smooth. Her back was delicate, and her buttocks were sleek, firm, round--and dimpled! She was a goddess among women. No wonder Lola the Lesbian couldn't keep her eyes off her, Donald thought. Well, Lola could look, but she'd better keep her hands to herself. Stella was his woman, and he sure as hell wasn't about to share her with anyone else, especially a damned dyke. Across the room, Lola rose, teetering. A drink in hand, she staggered across the lounge, bumping and grazing tables as she made her way toward Donald and Stella, earning angry glances from the female couples whose chairs she jostled. She reached Donald's and Stella's table and stood, swaying like a palm tree in a heavy breeze. The clear liquor sloshed about in her long-stemmed glass. Donald scowled, to indicate that Lola was not welcome. Stella, always the lady, offered their visitor a smile--albeit a faint.
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