’ She’d put on a thin, blue robe over her ‘Outlaw’ movie costume, but it didn’t detract from her physical magnetism. I struggled mightily to keep my eyes from wandering down. ‘How may I help you, Ms…’ She held out her hand for first contact, ‘Renaldi, Rebecca Renaldi. But please, call me Becky.’ Her hand was warm and delicate, but the grip firm and direct. The alliteration in her name sounded poetic, but I deferred to her request. ‘Okay, Becky.’ As a distraction, I turned my eyes away to locate Dick Tracy, and spotted him hunched over relieving his bowels. She followed my eyes, and said, ‘Dogs have no shame.’ ‘No, they don’t.’ I said, pulling out a biodegradable poop bag from my suit pocket. Unsure of how to take the conversation from poop to private investigator business, I waited for her to start. Surprisingly, she asked, ‘Are you John Smith?’ ‘Yes, I am.’ My surprise must’ve been obvious. I suck at poker. My facial expressions are understandable, like a boner at a nudist camp.. One Friday afternoon, Seth walked into his dorm room and discovered Betty on his bed. She didn't get up when he walked in because she could not. Her arms were wrapped in rope, bound together from elbow to wrist, and her calves were similarly bound. She was wearing a blindfold and a ball gag, and there was a note safety-pinned through her left nipple ring."Sarah!" Seth sighed in exasperation. He unclipped the safety pin from her nipple ring, opened the note and read it.Dear Seth,I told you before that you needed to get laid. Well, so does my little friend here. She's been greased in the back, and I'm fairly sure that she's well lubricated up front as well. Please use her well, then return her to me in the morning. Just remember, she needs it too.XOXOXOp.s. She seems to like it rougher lately, so please make her happyp.p.s I'm probably asleep right this minute!Seth looked at Betty for a moment. He had gone without a girl for quite a while, and he was starting to miss it. He felt the.
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