“Ouch. That hurt.”“Col. Are you OK?”He looked down at the needles and pulled the knife out of the ground.“I’m fine, the handle of the knife just dug into me.” He stopped, giving me a probing look.“No Col, I wasn’t going to. I was just going to pick it up and go home.”Col took a deep breath. “But when I first arrived?”There was a prolonged silence as we looked at one another.“I’m sorry I said ... what I said. I was very angry with you. I don’t want you to kill yourself. You’re my best, my closest friend.” Col’s voice was cracking towards the end.He collapsed forward grabbing me and burst into tears. After a while, he looked up, tears running down his face.“Oh Willi, how could you think of doing such a thing?”“I’m sorry, Col.”He sniffed and sat up. Then he grabbed my wrists, inspecting them intently.“Have you tried before?” he asked, searching my face.I closed my eyes and nodded.“Oh, Willi. When?” I could hear the anguish in his voice“The day I first met you, I was about to ... do it,. It seemed like it would be a major problem, so we agreed to wait a few years before kids. I am amazed that as many people have kids nowadays, they could just keep having lots of fun sex but they give it up anyway. I guess we all have more things to thank our parents for than we originally thought. If we didn’t have to worry about what our parents thought, we would have gotten married freshman year. Essentially we had been married since then. But to please the parents Holly and I agreed that we would get married once we were out of college. So with graduation coming up I was hoping that holly wouldn’t propose to me before I could propose to her. It wasn’t a big deal though, since marriage was a foregone conclusion. It seemed strange to us to see these kids on campus. Freshman looked so young. When you are a freshman, the seniors don’t seem old to you. Not like in high school when the freshman know that the seniors are cooler than they are. But it was hard for us to look at these.
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