I don't remember this kid's name, but he frequented the big grassy lawn that stretched before my building. It was a ritual about once a month for this nice looking, hefty redheaded kid to pontificate on the handling and seduction of young girls before a group of enthralled listeners age 4 to 14 or so. At about that time I decided to hang around for some of these sessions, during which I heard the usual rumors about virginity often passing without pain or bloodletting, or via other means (sports, et al). He had his own lurid stories to relate, and often did so with amazing clinical detail that, through my experience with Martha Jane, convinced me that at least some of his reports seemed authentic.I decided Martha Jane's hymen had probably been taken by me-exactly when, I couldn't say--and that its inconvenience had been masked by ardor and passion.My scouring about the world was not limited to what I could find in a boring book. I did consort with peers now and then, especially on the. Everyso often though he'd stop talking and just seem to examine me, intensely.And every time the result was the same...I'd catch my breath, squirm in myseat and begin to blush...furiously...uncontrollably....I felt as though Iwere going to melt. And then he'd continue with the conversation and withina minute or two I'd compose myself.Looking back, I guess I was falling under his control even then.We'd discussed virtually everything in the past, there were no taboos. Allof the (to my mind) shocking, embarrassing fantasies that I harboured,fantasies I'd tried to repress but that just never went away...we talkedabout them all, with no judgement, no lecherous comments, just acceptanceand understanding. I understood now, with Richards guidance, that thesedesires were actually not that uncommon, that I shouldnt beat myself upover having them and also that they would never, ever go away. Like manysubmissives, bondage and restraint were highly charged subjects for me andI'd confided in.
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