I also needed some sort of closure and hoped that this could help provide it. Another attack of anger surged through me for entirely different reasons, when I saw Susan with her mother. This was the first time I'd seen this woman since she'd sent me that awful letter. Although many years had passed I still felt something akin to hatred towards her. The rage I was already feeling ensured that there would be no chance at forgiveness. I was grateful that Susan didn't see me because I was not sure how she would view the events leading up to the death of her best friend.For the burial I again retreated into the background, trying to stay away from everyone, including my own family. This was something I felt that I could not share, even with them. As the vicar droned on I became lost in my own thoughts and failed to notice Stephanie's mother approach."You bastard!" She yelled. "You stole my little girl and murdered her."Following the first two words she began to hit me. I made no attempt. At the end of the hall, she opened the door to the massage room. The lights were down low. There were only two items in the room, the massage table and a wooden table with oils and towels."Go ahead and lay face down, head on the pillow. I need to process the ticket at the front desk. It will only take a minute. I'll be back."I lay down. I was scared. As promised, she came back into the room quickly, closing the door. I felt like we were the only two people in the universe. She turned the dimmer on the lights down even lower. Time was moving slowly for me, increasing my awareness of everything. All my senses were fully alive."My name is Sandy."I should have told her my name, but my brain was not in the normal operating mode. My reply was lame: "Okay." Have you been here before?" No." Ever had a massage before?" No." Okay, well, I promise I won't bite. You just relax and enjoy. It is all for your pleasure."I wanted to relax, but it was impossible. Sandy started to massage my shoulders.
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