I was attracted to the mysterious constancy of waves, and occasionally the inscrutable ocean seemed like sweet respite. Since my unfamiliarly masculine hands no longer required the active leadership of my brain, I was left with much more time for the contemplation of my unhappiness. Callous fingers ripped off gills and expertly removed our mangled catch without my active participation. I had become so accustomed to arterial spray that I now only noticed blood when substantial amounts spurted into my eyes and dripped down like tears. * * * * * * * * * * * The rollers stopped pulling in the net. I looked to my captain, fearful that he would berate me once again for failing to live up to his forty-year expertise, but his eyes were focused beyond the stern of the boat. I followed them to the buoy at the end of the net, saw what he saw. A small black and embryonic head bobbed near our brilliant orange marker, oddly fragile in that harsh sea. ‘Baby sea lion,’ my captain announced with. Mr. Thomas was standing by her bed looking at her rather imperiously. She smiled as she held the rose for a long time then deliberately shrugging she threw it into the bin along with the gag, she bathed and dressed as usual repeating to herself ?Rapists never attack twice, he won’t be back, he’s too well prepared to take the risk?. She forced herself to remain in office up to her usual time, forced herself to lock the doors. She fed Mr. Thomas again and cleaned out his litter box before turning off the lights and going to bed. But she could not sleep, she tossed and turned alert for every sound, but nothing??midnight came and then dawn and then morning?.she would not let herself be disappointed she simply told herself that he wasn’t likely to come. For the first time in her life she spoke to Mr. Thomas ?Well Mr. Thomas? she began as she mixed his food and he sat on the table watching her ?you know what happened yesterday, I suppose you think I should have gone to the police?? she.
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