Oh, she’s really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she’s a slut. I’m just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities ... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.I’m not really mad. I’m kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won’t shut up and the neighbours can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately. I tell her simply “You’re screwed”. Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared. I continue. “I am sterile”Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to. "In our classroom we will use only answers that are ascertainable through the tools of science, not the tools of religion. You may discover that faith is what allows you to get to the next day; in class you cannot use an answer unless it is supported by scientific methods of investigation and observation. How old is the earth?" Four billion years." I wrote answers and she asked questions. Of course everyone's birthday was different. Ms. Hammer pulled down a map of the United States. It was pretty old and I wasn't positive the country still looked like the crinkled map hanging above the white board. "You will find a stack of atlases that are a little more current than the map here. There are also rulers since I can't expect any of you to have a ruler in English class. Now, how many of you have calculators in your bags? Get them out. Anyone who does not have a calculator, team up with someone who does. You'll need a calculator, ruler, and atlas in each group. We are going to create a.
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