“Brad, I’m divorcing you. I ‘love you’, but I haven’t been ‘in love’ with you for years. I’ve found another man and I’m leaving you. Amy is old enough that she doesn’t need either of us anymore, so I’m not chained to you any longer.“The terms are in line with the pre-nup agreement that Daddy had us sign. So there is nothing for you to complain about. You get to keep your house and your damned business.“The papers are in this envelope. You are getting a better deal than you could possible hope for the courts to give you. I hope you can find it in yourself not to try and interfere with my life any more. Just sign the papers and be done with it and we’ll go our separate ways!”How charming! Then she walked out the door. Her luggage (or baggage, as Brad thought of it now) was already gone.Brad collapsed into his favorite recliner, completely taken by surprise.“For god’s sake,” he thought, “we made love just last night!” Then he thought about it. “I guess that what I thought was ‘making. ”A few minutes later I noticed Sean, my roommate, and Gabe from next door walking into the dining hall. They were both fully clothed.“Hey, that’s my roommate,” I said, and waved them over. I was actually somewhat relieved when they sat with us. Sean and Gabe were both clearly unhappy living in a nudist dorm, and I wasn’t sure if they liked me or not. They seemed perfectly happy to see me, although they did ask if anyone was looking to switch rooms.We had back-to-back orientation lectures about sexual assault starting at 9:30, so we walked over to the auditorium together. They didn’t seem to enjoy the lectures, although, honestly, neither did I. I guess there’s really no way to do that sort of thing without coming across as condescending. It probably didn’t help them that they were the only ones fully dressed, either.Sean tapped me on the shoulder coming out of the lecture. “Hey, we’re going into town, you want to come?”“Nah, I’m going to hang out back at the dorm.”I ended up hanging.
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