. Why are married women heavier than single women?She said ... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!”She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!”This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, “Quickly! Another beer! It’s gonna start any second!””That’s it!” She blows her top. “You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don’t even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave! Don’t you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?”The husband sighed. “Oh shit. It’s started.”A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.. God, that hurt. I had difficulty swallowing for a week. He kept fucking my mouth, and suddenly his cock swelled up a little and he spurted his come into my mouth. I didn't have a chance to swallow, and it started to run out my nose. I gagged and tried to pull away. I couldn't breathe, but he didn't care. He jerked my hair and pulled me tightly to him.That's when I bit him. I didn't care if he killed me anymore. The son-of-a-bitch had hurt me and humiliated me, and he was smothering me, so I bit down on his filthy cock as hard as I could. He screamed and slapped me, sending me flying across the elevator floor. I curled up in the corner and wept while he cursed me."You cunt! You made me bleed!" Good," I said between sobs. "I hope the slimy fucker falls off!"That's when he kicked me. I found out later he cracked two of my ribs. Gratefully the pain from the kick was too much for my body to take, and I passed out. When I came to, the lights in the elevator had come back on, and I could.
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