You'll need a greatdeal of things, and I cannot afford to buy all that, so you will need ajob."With that edict, I began working as a secretary/gopher at moms office. Notone person thought I was anything but a real girl, and I started to hangout with a few other girls. We ate lunch, went shopping and traded gossip,like any other girls. They also met Stanley, my intended husband. After wehad gone out a few times, he had given me an engagement ring that wasfabulous. It glittered on my finger, and I'll have to admit that it feltvery nice. My impossible dream of becoming a bride was coming true! Thenight that he gave me that ring was the first time that I had gone beyondjust kissing him. To my great joy, we both liked it. Him because guysalways like it when girls do that for them, and me, because I proved tomyself that I was all girl, even though I never removed my panties. Thatwas for later. But as time had gone by and I knew that I would never be aguy again, I started taking hormones,. I would rather be dead than let her see me suffering all this. Not really, but that thought bounced through my head as I laid there twisting about, trying to avoid the pain. The doctor that came in was young and professional-looking in a way that would not surprise me if I had instead seen him in one of those bars I’m always at. Sort of an urban look, but with a gleam in his eyes that shone of higher education. He could’ve had a spot on ER or some other hospital drama that seemed to be so popular on television. The boy-man standing in his shadow was a bit less enviable. With his too-prominent eyeglasses and his bad haircut, he was reminiscent of the nerdy kid in school who always sat towards the middle of the room, always raising his hand to every question yet always getting every question wrong. And here he looked no more competent. He bumbled behind his elder, not looking as though he knew what he was here for any more than I did. A bolt of foolishness struck through me, smarting.
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