"I would never do that!" Let's make a bet on the game Sunday, and if I win, you have to do it." What will you do?" I'll come in a tuxedo as your groom, and protect you." He is a reallybig guy who works out and does a couple of MMA fights a year."No, I mean if I win the bet?" I'll take you out to dinner and drinks, at my expense, any place youwant." Anyplace? Really?" You got it."So we made the bet and when Halloween arrived, there I was in my whitewedding dress and baby bump. All the girls at the office said I lookedtoo real to be a boy, and the men threw me out of the their restroom andmade me use the ladies', which actually was better because we had abetter mirror in there, and I always needed to freshen my lipstick andpowder my nose anyway.At night, my tuxedoed groom forced me to go with him to our friends'homes trick-or-treating and to countless parties, showing off myshameful tummy coddled in that beautiful lace dress with a long,ridiculous train that people just loved to. ..Kenny, I didn't hearyou come in."He leaned down and kissed me on the neck. It felt to weird to feel theshort stubble against my soft skin. "You certainly made a beautifulbride." Uh... thank you."Suddenly his arms were around me, his hands against my breasts. Oh God -he had come home horny. This couldn't be happening. I remembered againhow it had been for Hannah and I back when we were newlyweds. Just likeKenny, I had often come home so horny I could hardly stand it. Ayounger, more agreeable Hannah had always smiled at me and practicallyraced me for the bedroom.I suddenly realized unless I came up with a good excuse, I was going toend up in bed with my smooth legs spread. That wasn't something I wasready for. I slipped out of his embrace and stood up. "Kenny, I haven'teven started dinner yet."He moved toward me, his arms embracing me once more as his chest pressedagainst my breasts. "Who needs food?"I didn't want to do this. It was a nightmare of gargantuan proportions.My wife was.
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