I don't remember going upstairs or getting me kit off but I must have and there was these nice clean bed sheets and I fell asleep dreaming of that Pippa Middleton and Lyndsey Lohan. I remember this great big fluffy cloud floated by with Ann Widdicome's head one end and John Sergeant's the other, that should have started alarm bells clanging but it never registered, and I was warm and safe like you are after twelve pints of Strongbow, lets face it you can be warm and safe lying in a gutter soaked to the skin after what we had had to drink but you know it was all right but it wasn't. Something were wrong. Me brain started to work but me brain clutch wasn't working and I couldn't get it into gear, Grrrrr, it went as me brain gears grated or was it a warning buzzer buzzing deep in my brain. I gradually woke up, it was all grey, me head was banging and that, I couldn't figure where I was exactly, and then there was someone else there and I was in bed like and I realised I had me kit off. She grimaced as she saw she was barely getting signal and was certainly out of WiFi range. She checked her Facebook again, hoping that her best friend Julia would be online to chat with, but gave up when she saw the last of her bars drop.Her mother took a deep breath, and sighed. "We aren't "just" fighting. We are getting a divorce." she said in a tired voice. She glanced over at her daughter. Suzy sat there, staring out the window. She had inherited her mother's lovely alabaster skin, gorgeous facial features, and beautiful gray-blue eyes. Unfortunately for her, she didn't inherit her mother's height or natural grace. Suzy was an awkward "late bloomer", barely 4'11" tall. Over the summer, she transformed from the "skinny rich girl with chicken legs" to a lovely young woman who went from an flat A cup to a C cup, filled out her yoga pants nicely from behind, and gained just enough weight to put some curves on her tiny frame. She was completely unprepared for the amount of attention.
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