" All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."Dear Family & Friends,I am sorry that I have not been consistently responsive lately to your emails. I have been somewhat under the weather since my doctors informed me that I have an acute case of Post Islamic Stress Trauma with Apologetic Whitehouse Fatigue (PIST-AWF). For those of you who do not know what that is, PIST-AWF is a newly defined disease that is found to be widespread and highly contagious.Symptoms include, but may not be limited to: Severe pain of the scalp from pulling your own hair while viewing the President pander to Muslim terrorists.Loose bowels from swallowing the fact we elected Obama twice.Extreme hunger due to vomiting from nightly seeing terrorists murdering innocent people.If you feel. You’re going to need your energy. What size shoes you wear, about an 8?’ Tracing a light circle around my clit, I replied, ‘Yes.’ Weasel Sam hit a buzzer on his desk. A minute later a handsome young blond guy with a neatly trimmed beard came into the office, glanced disinterestedly at me spread open as wide as the Grand Canyon, and said, ‘What?’ ‘Go back and see if anybody has a spare pair of shoes about size 8.’ ‘O.K.’ When he had left, Sam said, ‘Remember you’re in San Francisco. We hire a lot of gay guys. Fewer problems. Enough of that,’ meaning me. ‘Let’s see another pose.’ ‘Like what?’ ‘Whatever. Turn around, on your knees.’ I did. ‘Knees further apart. Try to look as though you’re just getting ready to be fucked. That’s what they like. You can’t go wrong if you think of all the various ways you’ve been fucked and duplicate those positions.’ I obediently followed his instructions through a few more poses, before he said, ‘All right. Stand up. Come on over here. No. All the way..
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