But it just wasn't what I wanted. It didn't make me feel anything butused, can you understand that? and then, then I met you and all thatchanged. I've never had sexual fantasies about anyone before," I saidembarrassed. "But you, you changed all that for me. And I'm scared,scared I'll not be good enough for you. Afraid that it will hurt toomuch, and I won't be able to, to," he just hugged me tighter."Don't you think I've been worrying about the same things? Worrying thatI'll not be gentle enough when you're ready to try, if you ever are.Missy, I couldn't stand it if I thought I hurt you. That's why I refuseto give in to my urges and fuck your brains out. I don't want to scareyou off, I don't want to leave in the morning because I'm afraid it willbe the last time I see you."We both started laughing then, "You really mean that don't you? Youreally want me here, and you care about me as a person." Care about you? No, I don't just care about you, I love you. Myfeelings for you are like a. "That's the first time I swallowed anyone's cum in a long time," he said, "I don't do that for everyone." He then asked me to top him, and turned around. At this time I never topped anybody, never gave anal sex, only received, and I didn't know much of what i was doing, but tried my hardest. It just wouldn't take. He tried to fuck my ass, but John couldn't get an erection.The phone rang and John answered it. He had to take the call, he explained, and got into a very long conversation with a friend who was on the other side. Meanwhile I was laying on his bed butt-naked, exposed to all, for almost a half hour while he was on the phone. Yet i felt very comfortable and safe and enjoyed just being naked with somebody. Once the phone call was over, John told me he had a boyfriend. Well, sort of. His live-in boyfriend would disappear for days, even weeks at time and be very dismissive when he was home. John said his boyfriend soon confessed he was bisexual and was secretly married to a.
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