.then tell you that pats coming over or that i'm going down to Marc's or Mikes..."DAMNIT!!!" i kicked the t.v. down and it cracked"goddamnit mom, GODDAMNIT!" i picked up the broken t.v. and threw it through the window...sat back down on the couchSilenceWaitingListening...she really is dead. normally when i make comotion like that she'd come up here and see what's going on. She'd come up here to see if i was O.K., and i'd tell her everythings alright...and i'd say I love you...ShetrulyisdeadShe can't be dead, not now, not FUCKING right now...damnit...tears starting to run down my face...i wiped them from my face and walked downstairs to see if dad was O.K. as i walked through the door dad was sitting in his chair leaning forward"how you feeling dad?" i asked trying to hide my croaky voice and puffy eyes."not to well son, not well at all...What was that comotion up stairs?" he asked staring at his bed" i kicked my t.v. over then threw it through the window" i said bluntly staring down. . US; what we did was consensual. Regardless of all the bullshit and the pretence, I wanted what we did. I wanted you.” I tried to explain but felt I was falling helplessly short of the mark.I didn’t feel like I was making my point. I didn’t think she was understanding what it was that I was trying to say. Then Mom touched my face with her hand, slowly, affectionately, she brought it across my cheek to the back of my head and pulled me down to her.“I liked what we did.” She tells me when her lips are just a few inches from my face. “I liked catching you in the living room.” She whispered. “I liked what we did in the garage and then in your room.” She quietly tells me, her lips nearly on mine.I was having a really hard time listening to her words ... breathing in her scent.“But I couldn’t say that Bobby. I couldn’t just come right out and say that.” She sounds so sorry, so apologetic, and maybe even a tiny bit ashamed. Not for what we’d done but for the pretences, the mockery ... the.
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