I just danced anddanced. I liked when the dress rose while I twirled around. It was justlike that Marilyn Monroe picture. I read my sisters girl magazines andplayed with her teddy bears. This was the second time in my life that Ifelt happy. It was like I suddenly became my sister, and could play inher room all day. Of course the fun had to end and I hurried to clean upwhat mess I made and put my boy's clothes on again.This was the highlight of my life for a few weeks. I would go into mysister's room while my family were out, and would have some girl time. Iwould try different clothes on, and play with her toys. The only problemwas that I had to watch the window and be careful that no evidence couldbe seen before they came back.It was also at this time that I accepted that I was a girl. Sure I had aboy's body, but that was a birth defect. I decided that if anyone calledme a boy, I would get mad or ignore them. I was deciding if I would tellthem that I am a girl. After long. ‘What is wrong?’ her mother said as she came down the stairs. ‘What happened? Are you okay?’ ‘Nothing happened . I will be fine. It is just Eric, mom. He truly does not know how to leave me alone and mind his own darn business. He is worrying about losing his job and yet he does not do parts of it and I end up doing it in the end. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Tell me. Does it make any sense at all to you?’ ‘No honey, I do not think it makes sense either. You can not let him get to you like this. You have to learn to laugh it off.’ ‘It is easier said than done. You know how hard I worked to get to where I am when it comes to working in that department. It took so long for me to convince them that I belonged there and now I feel like I have to prove myself every single day once again. All of this criticism from him is making feel like maybe I am not good enough after all. I do not know how much I can take of this. I do not want to quit but it feels like he does not want me.
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