" We clumped outside. I pushed the bike off the stand and kicked the engine into life. Sarah hopped up onto the rear seat, raised a few inches above mine so she'd have some sort of view. I checked her over. OK? Visors down and gently out of the courtyard. Even on low throttle the four cylinders gave a lot of thrust and I felt her slide back, hold tighter and then wriggle against me.I reached back to pat her leg and we were off. We muttered down the lane from the lodge, engine unhappy at low revs. Then, we flicked through the traffic in the centre of town, Sarah getting used to being on the back. We began to get a clearer run, speeding up towards the by-pass. I kept the speed legal, even on the dual carriageway. No point in getting stopped. As I saw the turnoff coming up, I reached back and tapped her, felt her settle down and hold tight. Good girl. Down two gears and leaning over to round the tight slip road in second, feeling the surface with my toe. Then quickly up through the gears. Was I going to be in trouble if I opened that door? Opening a door to a new life time.Seemly simple, complex only in thought and effort. Pacing the floor, smoking one after the other, I could not unwind. I turned the TV on to no avail. Between the romance displayed the "this Bud's for you commericals".It left me to no end. The phone rings I jump. Just to find a phone solicitor on the other end, wanting to know if I wanted the paper delivered. I replied trying to stay calm."Ms I already get your paper, please do not call here again."Was it the waiting, the want, the need. Whatever this was may cope ability level was at an all time low. But still I felt a sense of anticipation. Was I lost in feeling and thoughts. Misforgotten Yesterdays. I had no conclusions just kept hearing the echoing of my mind.From the first time we had meet and spoke, I knew I was in trouble. Alarmed but felt secure. Confusing eluding. Entranced. I asked what do I allow her to do. Now disgusted with myself, for I.
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