I longed to feel thesilky caress of the air on my skin, not the crawling sensation I wascurrently having.* * *I spent nearly an hour in the shower crying, screaming, and reliving themoments that were becoming a living nightmare. Even the crash had not hadthis much of an effect on me. The haunting image of the General'ssecretary in her moment of death clung to my dreams, but this... this wasbrutally being relived by my neural circuitry, like some sort of feedbackloop.Gradually I towelled myself off, and as I dried my vagina a starkrevelation hit me - I was a female agent, and the worst torture was notthe electricity, rather it was rape. Somewhere between realising that Iwas now vulnerable to worst excesses of a human predator and anothermental feedback of the electric shock my mind caved in. Like a droppedmirror it fragmented."What have I done to myself?!?" I stared into my bedroom mirror, my nakedbody flawless in the reflection. What freak had I become? I no longerhuman - I felt like. Even if he wasbusy working on his book, he would have heard her and responded. But thedarkened house and the lack of his presence made her worry.As she hung up her coat on the hook, she saw Frankie s pumps at thebottom of the steps. As she walked up to the second floor, Helen pickedup his jacket and then his skirt lying on the floor. As she climbed thestairs and headed towards their bedroom, Helen was stopped dead in hertracks with a thought she had never considered. What if she walked into the their bedroom and Frankie was with anotherperson having sex? What if the two of them had been so consumed inpassion that Frankie couldn t wait to get out of his dress? She wonderedif he had brought home that woman Gwen he was so taken with? She stoodthere listening, trying to discern any noise of lovemaking. The lastthing she wanted to do was embarrass Frankie, in his role as her newwife, finding him there with a lover.Helen loved the idea of Frankie having an affair. Unlike Frankie, Helenhad.
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