He rummaged through some bags and took his camera equipment. There was a large tripod that he set up, along with some camera that looked very strange. It was big, and not knowing much about this I guessed it was just some kind of camera that professionals use. He then pulled out some other various bits of gear and laid them on the ground. After that, he pulled out just a small digital camera."This is what I do my initial shots on. Just for you to get used to it. A lot of people get intimidated if I go straight to the medium format camera, but I think you'll do fine. Let's just get you warmed up and see how you look on film. Sit on the bed for me."I sat down and smiled at him. I didn't know what to do, but he was already making me feel beautiful and I was trying to go along with it. I knew I had to try to be sexy to make the pictures look best, but I really didn't know what to do. I had worn a skirt, bit shorter of one than I usually would wear, and I tried to sit in such a way that. Vanilla Dreams, I’d bought them more than a month ago, after stealing my first from a former lover in a near suicidal depression. I wasn’t that bad now, just a little broken & disappointed…. I walked a block or so to a park I’d found earlier, when I was still searching for food. There was the broad expanse of a ball field, & up a hill there were tennis courts & a play ground. I walked around in the park for a little while, alternating between fantasies of a romantic evening that never happened, & becoming increasingly angry at myself for thinking for a moment that I should be deserving of such a night. I finally sat on the steps between the ball field & the tennis courts, opening the flavored cigarettes with a sigh & thinking of my late grandfather, who ultimately died from the habit despite quitting almost thirty years ago. The wind seemed to fight me, to tell me that I’d done well, & should not be punishing myself… but I didn’t listen. Shielding the lighter with my hand, I took a.
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