Let’s face it, people. Research is hard! If you’re going to make a real difference in the world, you’ve gotta use a cleaver, not a scalpel.Sure, I fretted over it some. Mostly, though, I was just pleased with myself. If a few people had to die so that the whole damned planet could be freed from tobacco addiction, well, that was a small price to pay.I had done a good thing.Essentially.I contented myself for several months, just checking the news of the world, watching for new forms of evildoing that I could conquer, but not imposing any new death sentences. I noticed that a new crop of dirty politicians was gradually emerging here and there, so I worked for several weeks to describe a number of different types of conduct, by politicians, that would cause them to go to bed one night and not wake up ever again.It was an excellent exercise, and scattered additional political leaders began to die suddenly. The world was getting wise to “God’s” justice by this time, and when a political. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.2. The Governor starts to intervene but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.3. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.4. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.5. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.6. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.7. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.8. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease.
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