It turns me on, knowing how fun it would be to tease him in the flesh. “That’s it, baby. Fuck my tight pussy, give it to me. Mmm right there, oh yes, oh god yes!” I moan out for him again and he cries out, with that I can tell he’s coming. He’s trying to tell me, but he can’t get the words to come out of his mouth. His mouth is full of passion of moans and tangled pleasure, erupting from every inch of his being. I don’t stop moaning for him until he grows quiet. “Jesus, I needed that. Thank you.” “It was my pleasure, Ethan.” “You know, I can’t place it, but you sound so familiar.” I freeze, and hope he doesn't figure it out. I try to brush it off. “Oh you know, all those dreams and times you needed a fuck doll to release into.” “Ha, yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Phew! I think to myself as I feel like I got off easily on that. He doesn't want to take too much of my time, but we end up talking for an hour about everything. It feels like the other night in the club. I try not. I was totally repelled by it and the thought of losing my virginity to a gorilla didn't exactly turn me on, even though the gorilla in question was the sweetest guy ever. At 16 I thought I knew it all and I figured that no matter how wonderful Ethan was, there had to be a sexual component for it to go further than just friends.I almost 17 I think when I was so fed up with the men I was attracted to that I decided that tormenting myself at night wasn't working, I needed to make a decision. As much as I wanted us to be friends forever, because I was so comfortable around him and he made me smile just by being near, I couldn't string Ethan along. Jodi was on my case about it, saying that just by being friends with him was mean because it made him think that he might have a chance, and the more I thought about it the worse I felt. I also knew that as bad as it was to "string him along" it would probably be the end of our friendship if we dated and it didn't work out. It stressed me out.
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