Finally I got to a bus stop and eventually back to the club."Thankfully my car was in the lot. After getting back to my room, I showered three times and I can still feel his slimy touch."I went to Darren's apartment first but he wasn't home, so I came here, I'm sorry, I just had to talk to someone. I feel so dirty... so used... so violated. The bad part is I can't do shit about it, the ass wipe obviously used a condom every time he had his way with me."Honestly Gwen, I feel as though I'm trapped in some bittersweet nightmare, should I 'regret' or be 'thankful' that he used condoms. I don't have a shred of evidence, but at least I'm clean and shouldn't have to worry about an STD or worse a pregnancy."The worst of it, I truly have no one to blame but myself. When you first mentioned and invited me to go to the club with you, I knew from overhearing people at work that Hayden was going to be there."I knew in my heart I shouldn't go. Not with all the trouble he has been causing me at. As sweat gathered upon his forehead, he had not a clue as to what he should do. He only saw the States tossed into the ocean, nothing remaining but scortched and pock-marked earth consumed by rolling waters, and the crying and wailing of thousands of souls. He had to do something. He couldn’t just lie there. The sweat trickled down the side of his face. He was compelled to do something, but what? He lacked the courage to speak. No one else spoke. Instead they roamed the streets, the subways, and the bus stations in their apparent silence, no one understanding anyone beyond themselves, only roaming, stuck within their own self-involved worlds. They wandered and roamed beneath laden clouds.The Imam could have prayed, but he saw prayer only for those who needed it most, as though Allah had mounds of prayers to sort through, prayers never answered or heeded or fully understood. To have many thoughts and to never act upon them is the role of the child, but to put thoughts into action is.
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