Now I was intimidated.A tall, slim man in his middle forties turned out to be Bill Carsworthy, Deputy Minister of Forests for the provincial government. His playing partner was Milo Remple, short, balding, but fit. A lawyer and chief advocate for the environmental movement. A "tree hugger," I thought.Both men were members, but both were high handicappers — mid-twenties. I learned Henrik was a fifteen, so I wasn't out of my league I hoped. I agreed to play to an eighteen, since I was just picking a number out of thin air. On the basis of the handicaps, I was paired with Milo against Bill and Henrik. On paper, it should have been fairly even.I don't remember quite as much about the game as I usually would. I hit the ball well, and kept it on the fairway for the most part. My short game, as expected, was erratic. Milo and I scrambled well, however. We never got behind by more than one hole. I conveniently had my bad holes while Milo was having his good ones, and vice versa.Henrik played. I didn’t tell her to back off. And she didn’t stay long anyway; just long enough to make sure I ate. She was a woman and I needed a woman around even if it wasn’t my woman. I had grown to really appreciate Harriet. But of course she’d gone back to Phoenix with her man too. She’d made me promise to get my act together. I’d humored her.****I was sick with loneliness. Loneliness is the worst. Nobody should have to be lonely; it’s not natural.I knew what I had to do to not be lonely anymore. I had to join my woman, my Rina. I looked around for a means to do that. I smiled. When we’d moved to California, we’d had to buy rope to tie down the stuff in the back of the truck. It was wound up in the broom closet.There was a cheapass, but strong looking beam that crossed the center of ceiling of the place that used to support a chandelier. That would do. The woman would finally be rid of me for good and be able to get on with her happy life. I’d leave a note. Nothing too melodramatic, just a.
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