When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked:“Are you a real pilot?”He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.’Lemon PickerSally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.Sally applied for a job in a Florida lemon grove and seemed to be far too qualified for the job. She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and a school teacher.The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”“Well, as a matter of fact, I have,” she said: “I’ve been divorced three times, owned two Chryslers, I voted twice for Obama, and once for Hillary.”She starts work in the morning.Happy HourFour old. After several days of torture, when my behavior had gotten to a point were she was satisfied I was subdued, she led me from the punishment room on a leash. Heavily chained I crawled obediently after her. She led me to the master bedroom were I saw Lisa for the first time in what seemed an eternity. She wore a short frilly nightgown and was sitting on the edge of the bed. My neck aching I looked up and met her eyes. I saw pity.This exchange drew an immediate response from Ingrid. She swung her club and struck the back of my neck. Crying out in pain I cowered from her."BAD doggie!" she exclaimed. "Now lay and behave yourself." She raised her club and I immediately slunk to floor and curled to a defensive position. Ingrid fastened my collar to a short length of chain, which she attached to a bedpost. My position left my head under the bed.She smiled and turned to Lisa, "You see, I told you, these men are really only two legged animals. Once they are properly trained they easily revert to.
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