You spend some time with Tommy,” I said.She went out to the living room and I washed the dishes. When I finished I walked to the living room. Tommy was on her lap and she was reading to him. I sat next to Sarah. She finished one book and started a second. This one had several animals and I made animal sounds for the different animals. Tommy looked at me with a puzzled look when I made the first couple of animal sounds. Then he began with the young toddler hysterical laugh with each new animal sound. Soon Tommy looked like he was getting sleepy.Without saying anything Sarah took off her top then asked if I could unhook her bra. I did that and she slipped it off. Tommy quickly began nursing on one of her breasts. I watched as a satisfied look come over Tommy’s face. It was a pleasure to see the connection between mother and child. I saw the loving look on Sarah’s face. After several minutes I heard a light snoring sound coming from Tommy. Tommy was ready to go to bed. Sarah put Tommy. I hope to be here, but I won’t swear to it like I would have prior to the NOH.As I said, I was terrified and didn’t have anyone to turn to. It sucks to be in that situation and to be alone. Since I had resigned myself to my fate I decided to call upon Hel. Hel is the Norse Goddess of Death and the Underworld. She’s the daughter of Loki. I’ve always had respect for her since I learned that in the Eddas Odin had high praise for her respectfulness and character. It was he who gave her the Underworld. She is one of the three Goddess’s I venerate. They are: Freyja, sweet Sunna, and Hel.I began singing under my breath a shamanic spirit calling song that I adapted to her in her honor. I started calming down but nothing happened other than that. I realized this wasn’t going anywhere quick. I did notice the feeling was starting to return to my right side. I just lay there for another half hour or so. When it became obvious that the majority of the feeling was returning I was relieved. I can.
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